Danny vs ours · every line
Left: Danny's line (his words; blue = the part we swap). Right: ours. Same job, line for line. ⚑ = a word bent for grammar or truth.
| Line | Danny (the mold) | Ours |
|---|---|---|
| OPT-IN PAGE | ||
| P01 | [PAGE TITLE: How to [DREAM_HEADLINE]] | How to Create Conversations That Naturally Lead to Clients |
| P02 | FREE [EVENT FORMAT]! | FREE 24-MINUTE TRAINING! |
| P03 to 05 | How to [DREAM_HEADLINE_LINE_1] [DREAM_HEADLINE_LINE_2] [DREAM_HEADLINE_LINE_3] | How to start conversations / that turn into clients / without being salesy or pushy |
| P06 to 08 | Breaking down the simple [METHOD NOUN] that allows [AUDIENCE] to [DREAM_OUTCOME_1] and [DREAM_OUTCOME_2]. | Breaking down the simple shift that allows coaches and service-based business owners to get real responses and turn conversations into clients. |
| P09 | [CTA BUTTON] | WATCH THE FREE TRAINING |
| P10 to 12 | You're going to learn all this | You're going to learn all this |
| P13 | To [LEARN_1: install a simple … that's perfect for [AUDIENCE] who want [DREAM]]. | To find the one person you're meant to reach out to next, perfect for coaches who are tired of rewriting the same message 17 times. |
| P14 | How [LEARN_2: the world is changing the way you … and the [N] steps you need to take advantage]. | How the conversations that could change your business may already be waiting for you, and the simple shift that stops you missing them. |
| P15 | My [LEARN_3: framework that makes [THE HARD THING] easy, and [DREAM RESULT] even without [OBJECTION]]. | My way of making outreach feel natural, and starting real conversations even without a script. |
| P16 | Why NOW is the best time to [LEARN_4: … that allows you the freedom to [DREAM]]. | Why NOW is the best time to send the message you've been sitting on, without waiting for the perfect words. |
| P17 | This is for you if... | This is for you if... |
| P18 | You want [FOR_YOU_1: DREAM, their words] | You want real responses, not one more inbox full of people trying to sell you something |
| P19 | You want [FOR_YOU_2: DREAM, their words] | You want to be talking to people who can actually afford you |
| P20 | You want [FOR_YOU_3: DREAM, their words] | You want to invite people in without being salesy or pushy |
| P21 | This is not for you if... | This is not for you if... |
| P22 | You're looking for [NOT_FOR_1: a get rich quick scheme] | You're looking for a script to copy |
| P23 | You don't want to [NOT_FOR_2: put in the work] | You don't want to put in the work |
| P24 | You aren't ready to [NOT_FOR_3: invest in yourself] | You aren't ready to actually send the message |
| P25 | You want to [NOT_FOR_4: become the next big influencer] | You want to chase strangers |
| P26 | Hey, I'm [HOST NAME] | Hey, I'm Jennifer Reyes |
| P27 | YOUR HOST & [HOST TITLE] | YOUR HOST & FOUNDER OF SALES FROM THE HEART |
| P28 | Whether you found me through my [WHERE THEY FOUND YOU 1] or [WHERE THEY FOUND YOU 2], I'm glad you're here. I started [BUSINESS NAME] because I asked myself: "[ORIGIN QUESTION]" | Whether you found me through my LinkedIn posts or one of my Business Overflow events, I'm glad you're here. I started Sales from the Heart because I asked myself: "What if the conversations that could change my business are already waiting for me?" ⚑ her quote turned from "your" to "my" so it reads as her question |
| P29 | [ORIGIN STORY: A few years ago I [BIG LEAP]. I had no plan but I was ready to bet on myself. I built [WHAT] with [HOW]. [WHAT YOU DIDN'T USE].] | I started my sales career when copiers were still analog. And yes, I hustled. I won the awards, then sold coaching programs alongside some of the most recognized leaders in the coaching industry. In 2013, I launched Sales from the Heart. |
| P30 | [PROOF: By my [TIME 1], I was [RESULT 1]. By my [TIME 2], I'd [RESULT 2].] | I've spent almost three decades in sales and business, and I've been serving in the coaching space since 2007. |
| P31 | I didn't do it by [PAIN: the obvious way they're doing it now]. I did it with one simple [METHOD NOUN]: the same one I'm going to share with you in this [SESSION]. | Today I don't do it by forcing, chasing, or overthinking. I do it with one simple shift: the same one I'm going to share with you in this training. ⚑ Danny's "I didn't do it by" → "Today I don't", because P29 says she DID hustle |
| P32 | If you're a [AUDIENCE] who's [PAIN: great at what you do but …], and you want [DREAM_OUTCOME] so you can [DREAM_1] and [DREAM_2], you're in the right place. Let's get to work. | If you're a coach or service-based business owner who's great at what you do but your conversations aren't turning into clients, and you want conversations that turn into clients so you can make some money sooner rather than later and book out ahead, you're in the right place. Let's get to work. |
| P33 | [SCARCITY LINE: LIMITED SPOTS AVAILABLE] | IT'S FREE. WATCH IT NOW. |
| P34 | [CTA BUTTON 2: JOIN THIS FREE [EVENT FORMAT]] | WATCH THE FREE TRAINING |
| THANK-YOU PAGE | ||
| T01 | [SHORT VIDEO: the Activation, embedded] | [the 24-minute training, embedded] |
| T02 | [LINK TO BOOK A CALL: CTA BUTTON] | BOOK YOUR ACTIVATION CHAT → chatwithjennifer.youcanbook.me |
| EMAIL 1 · send: as soon as possible | ||
| E1.S | Subject: this is not a [WHAT THEY EXPECT] | Subject: this is not a welcome email |
| E1.P | Preview text: [WHAT THEY EXPECT] to the un[WHAT THEY EXPECT] sequence | Preview text: welcome to the unwelcome sequence |
| E1.01 | Hey {{FIRST_NAME}}, | Hey {{first_name}}, |
| E1.02 | Right now I'm supposed to send you [NUMBER] emails about my [CLICHÉ 1], my [CLICHÉ 2], [CLICHÉ 3], and how I'm gonna [OVER-THE-TOP PROMISE]. | Right now I'm supposed to send you 5 emails about my origin story, my values, testimonials, and how I'm gonna book you out with a waitlist. |
| E1.03 | I'm not doing that. You get a [PLAYFUL SWAP] instead. | I'm not doing that. You get a GIF instead. |
| ＋E1.T | (added: Tim's pain ↔ dream rule) | Your inbox is already filled with people who just want to sell you stuff. This isn't that. This is about finding that connection, like making a new friend. ⚑ Melissa's two quotes (8/4) turned to "you" |
| E1.04 | Here's the thing you asked for: [ASSET NAME] | Here's the thing you asked for: How to Create Conversations That Naturally Lead to Clients |
| E1.05 | It's short. You can [CONSUME VERB] it in [TIME]. | It's short. You can watch it in 24 minutes. |
| E1.06 | I'll be back tomorrow to ask if you actually [CONSUME VERB, past tense] it. | I'll be back tomorrow to ask if you actually watched it. |
| E1.07 | [SIGN-OFF] | Jennifer |
| E1.08 | PS. If you wanna tell me what you're working toward with your business, we can look at your [THEIR AREA] together to see if it lines up. [CTA BUTTON] | PS. If you wanna tell me what you're working toward with your business, we can look at your conversations together to see if it lines up. BOOK YOUR ACTIVATION CHAT |
| EMAIL 2 · send: 24 hours after previous | ||
| E2.S | Subject: did you even look at it? | Subject: did you even look at it? |
| E2.01 | Hey {{FIRST_NAME}}, | Hey {{first_name}}, |
| E2.02 | Yesterday you grabbed the [ASSET SHORT NAME]. | Yesterday you grabbed the conversations training. |
| E2.03 | Be honest. Did you [CONSUME VERB] it, or did it go in the folder with the other [NUMBER] [PAIN: the pile they never open]? | Be honest. Did you watch it, or did it go in the folder with the other 40 trainings you're never opening again? |
| E2.04 | I'm not judging. I have that folder too. [EMOJI] | I'm not judging. I have that folder too. 😂 |
| E2.05 | But if you [CONSUME VERB] nothing else, here's the big takeaway: | But if you watch nothing else, here's the big takeaway: |
| E2.06 | You don't need more [PAIN: the thing they think they need]. You need [DREAM: the real thing]. | You don't need more people. You need to send the message. |
| E2.07 | If you don't feel like [CONSUME VERB -ing], I'm gonna offer you an option that nobody else will give you. | If you don't feel like watching, I'm gonna offer you an option that nobody else will give you. |
| E2.08 | [CTA BUTTON] | BOOK YOUR ACTIVATION CHAT |
| E2.09 | You can tell me what you've got going on with your business, and then we'll look at your [THEIR AREA] together to make sure it's set up to get you there. | You can tell me what you've got going on with your business, and then we'll look at your conversations together to make sure it's set up to get you there. |
| E2.10 | Cheers, | Cheers, |
| E2.11 | [SIGN-OFF] | Jennifer |
| E2.12 | PS. Tomorrow I'll tell you why [TEASER: email 3's pain]. | PS. Tomorrow I'll tell you why the 6 people who already raised their hand aren't hearing from you. |
| EMAIL 3 · send: 24 hours after previous | ||
| E3.S | Subject: [PAIN SUBJECT: your [THING] attracts [WRONG PEOPLE]... not [RIGHT PEOPLE]] | Subject: your DMs reach strangers... not the people who already know you |
| E3.01 | You could spend [TIME] [DOING THE HARD THING] tomorrow. | You could spend 2 hours writing the perfect DM tomorrow. |
| E3.02 | But [PAIN: it goes to a room full of people who will never hire you]! | But it lands with a stranger who thinks you're one more person trying to sell them something! |
| E3.03 | That's most people. They get [PAIN: the wrong result] from [WRONG PEOPLE]! Meanwhile, the [NUMBER] people who are ready to buy don't see it. | That's most people. They get no real responses from strangers! Meanwhile, the 6 people who are ready to buy don't see it. |
| E3.04 | Here's how I think about [CONCEPT]... | Here's how I think about your circle... |
| E3.05 | The [THING] is an [METAPHOR]. | Your circle is a connection hub. |
| E3.06 | It has 1 job. [THE JOB]. | It has 1 job. When people get in your circle, they win. |
| E3.07 | But you [HOW THEY NEGLECTED IT]. So it's out there guessing, [WHAT GOES WRONG]. | But you never told them what you do. So it's out there guessing, and nobody knows to send anyone your way. |
| E3.08 | [FIX IT], and it gets good at the job. | Reach out to them, and it gets good at the job. |
| E3.09 | Then [DREAM: you get leads instead of tire-kickers]. | Then one quick little text, and they sign up. |
| E3.10 | It's the first thing you need to fix before you [NEXT ACTION]. | It's the first thing you need to fix before you write another post. |
| E3.11 | If you want to take a look at your [THEIR AREA] together, I'll point you in the right direction. | If you want to take a look at your conversations together, I'll point you in the right direction. |
| E3.12 | [CTA BUTTON] | BOOK YOUR ACTIVATION CHAT |
| E3.13 | [SIGN-OFF] | Jennifer |
| E3.14 | P.S. This is the [LETTER 1] in [ACRONYM]. Tomorrow I'll get to the [LETTER 2]. | (P.S. cut: Danny's "TLC" acronym; she has no 3-part name) |
| EMAIL 4 · send: 1 day after previous | ||
| E4.S | Subject: [NUMBER] questions before you [ACTION] anything | Subject: 2 questions before you reach out to anyone ⚑ Danny's "anything" → "anyone" |
| E4.01 | Yesterday was about [EMAIL 3 TOPIC]. | Yesterday was about who you're reaching out to. |
| E4.02 | Today is about [EMAIL 4 TOPIC]. | Today is about when you send it. |
| E4.03 | Before I [ACTION] anything, I ask myself [NUMBER] questions: | Before I reach out to anyone, I ask myself 2 questions: |
| E4.04 | [QUESTION 1]? | Who's the first person that comes to mind? |
| E4.05 | [QUESTION 2]? | When do I send it? |
| E4.06 | I do an average of [NUMBER] [WHERE THEY DO THEIR BEST WORK] a day. In those [MEETINGS], I'm at my best. | I do an average of 4 client calls a day. In those calls, I'm at my best. ⚑ "4" needs her real number |
| E4.07 | I'm [VERB 1]. I'm [VERB 2]. I'm [VERB 3]. I'm [VERB 4]. | I'm listening. I'm noticing. I'm serving. I'm praying. |
| E4.08 | And that's where all my [OUTPUT] ideas come from. I never have to [PAIN: sit down and think about what I'm going to post]. But I know every [OUTPUT] will be [DREAM: relevant to my audience]. | And that's where all my conversation ideas come from. I never have to sit down and wonder who I should reach out to. But I know every conversation will be with someone God already put in front of me. |
| E4.09 | What you need is a way to [CAPTURE IT] and [EXECUTE IT] as quickly as possible. | What you need is a way to write the name down and send it as quickly as possible. |
| E4.10 | I can show you exactly how my clients and I are doing it. | I can show you exactly how my clients and I are doing it. |
| E4.11 | [CTA BUTTON] | BOOK YOUR ACTIVATION CHAT |
| E4.12 | [SIGN-OFF] | Jennifer |
| E4.13 | P.S. This is the [LETTER 2] in [ACRONYM]. Tomorrow, the [LETTER 3], which is where the clients actually come from. | (P.S. cut) |
| EMAIL 5 · send: 1 day after previous | ||
| E5.S | Subject: [PAIN SUBJECT: everyone thinks your [THING] is [BAD]] | Subject: everyone thinks your DMs are automated |
| E5.01 | [PAIN: Cold outreach is dead on [PLATFORM].] [EMOJI] | Cold outreach is dead on LinkedIn. 💀 |
| E5.02 | Even if your [THING] is really good, people immediately think it's [BAD]. Because we all get so many of these [THING] now. | Even if your DMs are really good, people immediately think they're automated. Because we all get so many of these DMs now. ⚑ "it's" → "they're" (plural DMs) |
| E5.03 | That's not changing any time soon. | That's not changing any time soon. |
| E5.04 | So the question is: how do you get people to [DREAM: raise their hand first]? | So the question is: how do you get people to raise their hand first? |
| E5.05 | You use your [ASSET TYPE] to do it. | You use your posts to do it. |
| E5.06 | Every [ASSET] guides them somewhere. When they go there, they just told you they have the problem you solve! | Every post guides them somewhere. When they go there, they just told you they have the problem you solve! |
| E5.07 | Now when you [ACTION] them, it's warm. And they'll actually respond to you! [EMOJI] | Now when you message them, it's warm. And they'll actually respond to you! 🤯 |
| E5.08 | And you don't have to feel [PAIN WORDS: sleezy, slimy, salesy], or any other word to describe how much you hate [PAIN: cold outreach]. | And you don't have to feel salesy or pushy or rope-a-dopey, or any other word to describe how much you hate cold outreach. |
| E5.09 | This is exactly what I help people do. | This is exactly what I help people do. |
| E5.10 | [OFFER: Build a [SYSTEM] you can run in [TIME] a day to [DREAM RESULT] on [PLATFORM].] | We work on the practical side of selling your services: who you're talking to, what you're saying, how you're moving conversations forward, and what's actually leading to clients. |
| E5.11 | Let's set up a time to talk and see if this is a fit for you. [CTA BUTTON] | Let's set up a time to talk and see if this is a fit for you. BOOK YOUR ACTIVATION CHAT |
| E5.12 | [SIGN-OFF] | Jennifer |